Reflective Questions
With regards to my solo show with Clarins in June 2025:
What was the best thing I did? Say yes to this terrifying project
Why was this the best thing I did? Because it was terrifying but it was the best experience ever
How do I know that this was the best thing I did? Because the memories of this whole process from A to Z make me smile and keep me going today
What am I going to do next in response? An even bigger show, this time in an art gallery, and aim towards brand FOUNDATIONS rather than brands themselves!
What worked least well for me? This is my second big commission and I do not think I work with within dictated frameworks, although the clients seem to be happy
Why did this not work well for me? There is something about not being able to change my mind halfway through that gets me a bit stuck in the process
What have I learned about the topic concerned from this not having worked well for me? I have learned that, while I will still accept commissions, and gallery or show themes, I will either try to plan better ahead, or try to maintain more freedom later down the line, to avoid having any regrets or going mad
What have I learned about myself from this not having worked well for me? I have learned that my best work (i.e. that sells, or that I am proud of) seems to be the least thought-through - just done
What do I plan to do differently in future as a result of my answers to the above questions? I need to recreate my creative process from last summer (2024) whereby I created the big version of The Holy Trinity and it sold within the hour of the gallery opening - so working off studies, as I showed during the week 6 class, during Group Crit
With hindsight, how would I go about this activity differently if doing it again from scratch? I would do Clarins again from scratch by rethinking the studies I proposed (which they validated so it wasn’t like they weren’t aligned!) by really preparing pieces that reflected my desires to capture anatomy, feminism, queer love, surrealist symbols, and not just the simple alien forms I went will
To what extent will this activity influence the way I tackle anything similar in future? In every way - this whole Clarins experience was a huge learning curve for me
What did I find the greatest challenge in doing this work? The pressure - at one point I hated all 7 pieces of art and had a very strange weekend - then I came back and fell in love with them again
Why was this a challenge to me? Because I wanted to start them all again from scratch, paint over all 7 of them in white, and start them all again, but we were two weeks away from the show
To what extent do I feel I have met this challenge? I did not ruin anything haha - the show was a success!
What can I do to improve my performance when next meeting this particular sort of challenge? Planning better, playing more on my strong points (i.e. less abstract and more detailed), leaning into surrealism and leaving myself the time and space to really paint details too, not just draw details
What was the most boring or tedious part of doing this particular task for me? Back and forths with my agent about changing final colours etc - it no longer felt like my idea, but in the end, I always enjoy working with him on everything we do together
Can I see the point of doing these things? Yes. Always.
If not, how could the activity be changed to be more stimulating and interesting for me? It was great, but if I was to make it even more stimulating and interesting, I would recreate the show in another city as well - the idea is very scalable and I would love to do the same thing for Clarins Taiwan for example - perhaps I will suggest the idea for Pride 2026 or 2027!
2. With regards to my first term so far :
What was the best thing I did? Throw myself in the deep end without hesitation
Why was this the best thing I did? Because, again, it was terrifying, but it has been the best experience ever, so far
How do I know that this was the best thing I did? There was no other way I saw this experience at Central Saint Martins going
What am I going to do next in response? Dive deeper into the deep end!
What worked least well for me? Everything makes sense so far, now I need to actually deliver on the big ideas, show proposals, and also Study Statement
Why did this not work well for me? All good so far! If I could improve one thing, it would be to have been able to make one of the official Class Rep training sessions somehow (I have gone through the full presentation and also checked with Olga, but all of the training sessions have fallen at the same time as teaching or meetings or trains, all impossible to make so far)
What have I learned about the topic concerned from this not having worked well for me? That I am proud of myself for freeing up every single Thursday afternoon for 2 years, but that I might need to recreate a bit more flexibility elsewhere as well
What have I learned about myself from this not having worked well for me? I have learned that online learning is definitely in line with where I am at the moment, although it is a shame that I cannot join all of the events and lectures and trainings as I would like to had I been 100% in London
What do I plan to do differently in future as a result of my answers to the above questions? I will make as much use of my time in London as possible in December - January
With hindsight, how would I go about this activity differently if doing it again from scratch? I would not, everything is going well so far!
To what extent will this activity influence the way I tackle anything similar in future? Hopefully in every way possible - looking forward to long-lasting positive change!
What did I find the greatest challenge in doing this work? I am still finding it challenging to focus on the Study Statement - this is the biggest question I have been asking myself for the last few years and I still do not have the answer. What do I love most and how can I focus on bringing that to like through art? Do I like too many things and is that a bad thing? I can tell that things are starting to clarify but no quite 100% there yet!
Why was this a challenge to me? Because I am so eternally curious and interested in everything, it is very difficult for me to make a decision about one single thing, one single direction only
To what extent do I feel I have met this challenge? I have narrowed my universe down to surrealism but perhaps I want to create a new style or new movement, and how do I link in all the rest: feminism? time & space? duality? gender? identity? anatomy? mythology?
What can I do to improve my performance when next meeting this particular sort of challenge? Continue researching, continue creating, continue testing & learning
What was the most boring or tedious part of doing this particular task for me? Forcing my mind to actually make a decision and not consider all the alternative at the same level as the choice - moving forward with one idea as a priority (this actually goes beyond my problem of making decisions as it also becomes at ADHD to a certain extent)
Can I see the point of doing these things? Yes. Definitely. I am looking forward to clarifying my own intentions in order to focus better 2025-2027
If not, how could the activity be changed to be more stimulating and interesting for me? It already is! Here’s to next steps and more reflective questions and answers to come - stay tuned!
