What is identity?
So, while the full video is here, the short excerpt about identity that really grabbed my attention is here :
Tilda on identity:
“I explained it to myself by saying that I didn’t really believe that identity existed.
The idea of attaching yourself to some sort of formula, and sticking to it, felt like a terrible trap.
You know, not choosing from the menu, or maybe choosing lots of things!
That feeling of fluidity, and openness.”
Reflect: Why did this grab my attention, so much so that I had to make a blog post about it? Because this is exactly why I am struggling to create my identity as an artist, and even more so, as a person. I don’t want to pigeon hole myself into one single direction: I never have been a single-minded specialist, I have always been more of a generalist, capable of consulting or teaching or creating lots of different things, and thriving in the wide range of experiences that life throws at me. The fact that the art industry, in some way, also asks us (or expects us) to have one signature style, one signature voice, one signature purpose, as an artist, actually feels like the singular choice I have been avoiding in every other industry I have worked in so far. Is there any way in which this time it could be different? Is art the one place I can finally be free?
Plan: Tilda is being interviewed here for a group show that she organised in Amsterdam, of all of her closest collaborators. Her way of expressing her “otherness” in art - beyond film and acting - is also like this, organising shows. Something I also love doing. The main way into this multitude of being, I think, is by doing well at ONE thing first, and then being appreciated for that - in Tilda’s case it was acting - and then moving onto other activities later, with the visibility that you can bring once you have the following. So my plan could be to focus on really working out what it is, that ONE thing I would like to be known for, doing really well at that, and then deprioritising everything else for now… Or my plan could be to keep doing what I do - consulting, teaching, art and events all at the same time - because actually the UNITY or MULTI-LAYERED aspect to the full experience is my actual signature. I don’t have the answer to which one is the right direction, yet.
Act: Every moment of introspection has become about this, recently. It’s been a few weeks. I think it is like a very long session of meditation, and I am hoping that it will pay off with some clear answers soon. The action is also to keep setting myself deadlines in the form of art shows, so that I must absolutely produce and create more interpretations and translations of my psyche. I will make another post about the Good Rice Gallery “Pretty” / “Manifest Content” show that we have coming up, as it is all about Freud’s Id, Ego, and Superego.
Observe: The fact that this short excerpt of a video jumped at me so much that I had to make a blog post about it is pretty telling! There is no right or wrong moment to question one’s identity, and while this is the perfect time for me to be doing it, it is actually going to happen forever, as I know that I am an eternally curious spirit. This is just the next layer of the metamorphosis.
